January 21, 2011

Being Scared and Bad Habits

Me in my hostel bed, on the top bunk above someone who keeps coughing...

It’s strange. I came here and it felt like I’d gone back 2 years psychologically. Sure I had to adapt, I still do, but it was all the programming, all the uncertainty, all this scrabbling to get attached to something. I have not come here to get attached (unless my heart dictates it). I know when my heart has not attached me when I feel like an absolute coward, not the powerful, passionate man who left home for an unknown life. I feel young, short, and different. But I’ll keep feeling that way if I think about it, if I mull. I’m here to live! I’m in a new country, I’m not home, I’m all alone… practically free and so goodbye to conventionality, goodbye to safety, hello me… hello beautiful London, beautiful UK.

I’d like to meet other passionate people!

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