9. Write fan fiction?

What a perfect subject for the first of the month. In fact, I am writing a fan fiction right now and it is my monthly project. I was wondering what project to jump into after a month of writing a 100-page screenplay. I didn't want anything too heavy and I had a fan fiction project marinating inside my head for a while now. There you have it, a light, exciting, but non-the-less educational (for myself most of all) fan fiction.

It is a Harry Potter fan fiction. Common trite you say? Maybe, but I am in love with J. K. Rowling's world and am quite sad I can't write from that world for the entirety of my career (Well I could, I'm afraid the income would be minimal though. Aya!).

You will have on cyberspace, sometime starting this month, the chronicles of the life of Icarus Fairchild. It's set in Hogwarts when Professor Dumbledor himself was a student. Icarus Fairchild is not quite like Harry Potter's tale, it could be canon, and it exploits the magical world as much as possible without being forceful.

In any case, I can't wait to start publishing. I do hope to get a lot of criticism. The bad, to learn to live with it. The good, to keep learning this craft of possibilities that is writing. It would be nice to build a little network as well.

There is much to learn from writing fan fictions. I've decided to throw my reticence aside and go for it. Fan fictions aren't only for fun, they are just as much a learning tool for the aspiring author as writing short stories would be. And they are a great source of fun for the hardcore fan... which I am... hehe

Just on a side note, I am not the kind of person that would write a fan fiction for any good ol' story that I enjoyed. No. I have to be crazy about it, an uber nerd about it. The Legend of Zelda is another good example of something I might write fanfic to (Cause I'm an uber geek for it. That series moves me sooo much). In fact, I have a Zelda fanfic strutting inside of me... first things first though!

PS. Harry Potter and Zelda are the most fanficked franchises... I know I'm the greater fan though. Hehe.

Remember why we Exist You and I

I don't want to survive, petty and trite, I want to Be. I need a story to tell.

In all that is possible about life, absurd, pointless, live eternally or live an ephemere spark, there is only me in the eye of another, I don't wish to vanish without moving myself, I don't wish to vanish with the flat concrete of eternity's foundation. I want to grow, become and say something more, I want to explode and shake and make shivers send tears out of mine own eyes. I watch the world, I watch many souls, I bask in the way they move me... I want to move me.

I don't believe feeling the way I do is vain, it may be an illusion, but if I make a life out of it, if I catch myself believing... Oh time will tell of course. It does tell right?

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:45:40 AM)

what are you up to?

L.e.x :] says: (1:48:41 AM)

nadda

L.e.x :] says: (1:48:46 AM)

tryin to fall asleep

L.e.x :] says: (1:48:49 AM)

but im not tired

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:49:25 AM)

understood

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:49:29 AM)

I feel quite the same

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:49:29 AM)

I feel quite the same

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:49:43 AM)

though I should sleep as not to wake up at 1 again tomorrow

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:49:48 AM)

I have an appointment tomorrow

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:50:07 AM)

no, it's not for a career opportunity, nor is it for a psychanalist to check my head

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:50:26 AM)

Merely a friend who needs my services and I haplessly, happily serve

L.e.x :] says: (1:50:35 AM)

lol

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:50:53 AM)

It's all I can do right now to bring anything to this forsaken place, Serve that is

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:50:53 AM)

serve until I can be served

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:51:00 AM)

I'm too humble to be served

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:51:09 AM)

and yet no one feels the world the way I do

Franky ∫ Mere survival in such a fucking soul! ∫ *56/100 Screnzy* says: (1:51:23 AM)

but what does that even mean? How better does tha tmake me?

Mocking Smile

Weird faces, weird sounds, strange conversations, I look good in this light, I look bad with my face down, can I make myself cry? Nope. I start to laugh instead. This is my face.

This is my face? How could this be me? People look at me and they see this? What’s so special about this face? Nothing really, I’m sure it would blend skillfully into the crowd. That’s good to know, now I can stop worrying about people judging me and putting me down, how could they if they can’t even single me out. This is not a child’s face. I do not appear younger than everyone my own age…

Good. Now that I know my body doesn’t give off the wrong image, it gives off no image; I know that people don’t know what my soul is like. Good good, that means they aren’t wrong about me yet. Good. Now all I need is for my body to give off the image of my soul.

Soul is disembodied. Soul doesn’t figure to the body at all. Identity does. Identity is the image the body gives off. My body will never be as my soul and vice versa, but at least I can be happy in it. If my body becomes what my soul dreams of in this « tangible’ world, wouldn’t that make me happy in recapitulation? How do I make that happen? Be myself?

So I found that looking in a mirror and talking to yourself can be hours of fun. I honestly feel for the past few days that I am talking to someone else. It feels good to see yourself as someone else. It’s easy to interact with others when you don’t realize you’re there. You don’t worry about the image your body is making your soul look like. But when you do, you start to justify in circles and move in circles instead of forward. So? Why not talk to yourself without realizing you’re there? Magnificent process that works wonders. I will know what my soul says when I’m not thinking about it and will be able to know myself? I’ve been a happy dreamer for the past week. I want a mirror in my room now.

1. Jean Carriès (1855-1894)
Grotesque mask, element for the Monumental Door, 1891/1894
Photo : Philippe Ladet/Petit Palais/R. Viollet

Through the Blizzard... Script Frenzy

In a few hours it will be midnight. I'm not sure if it's like this for everyone but to me that means it'll be April first (April fools if you prefer). One thing is for sure, this grand adventure I'm about to embark on is not a joke. 100 pages of screenplay in ONLY 30 days. Ask me how I feel about this? I'm really excited.

For the past month I haven't been going to school and I don't have a job so I've been watching movies, reading screenplays, taking a bunch of notes, and plotting for my awesome screenplay. Now that April is upon us I will have to write a minimum of 3.3 pages a day (though I'm planning to write 4, or more if inspiration sparks).

What I'm looking forward to is to being called up for a job interview, getting a job, getting a bunch of obstacles in my way, and still getting through this screenplay. It would make my heart sing if life became unpredictable, if I was thrown left and right and through it I managed to find my own way, accept it, and come out of this experience just that more grown up. God knows I've got so much to learn on every side of this circular geometric life (that includes: scriptwriting, time management, and who I am).

My screenplay is an adaptation of the children's novel "Perloo the Bold" by Avi. I chose this novel because I am a little Perloo myself. I think I have everything I need, I think I'm fine doing everything on my own, I think dreaming my life away is a great escape, and yet I fear the future, I fear to live life, I fear the challenge of being myself.

I foresee this movie would be a family animation: Funny and cute, but inspiring for people of all ages, for various reasons, for various ways of seeing the world. I will enjoy this month, following the rabbit-like montmers and their tales on Rasquich Mountain. I hope to learn from them every step of the way.

Wish me a bunch of unexpecteds this month! I'll update every once in a while, tell you what my furry friends are up to.

"Perloo the Bold" cover art by Harvey Chan

2. Poetry?

Send me some poetry! Something you like, something you love, something I might like. I would love to discover this side of literature.

I like poetry. Some poems sound nice or look nice to me but tend to go over my head even though I try hard to dissect them. Other poems move me tremendously (I haven't got any examples though... I'm not a big poetry geek at all). I think I rather be read to or shared a poem orally though. I like to write them but usually look back at them in disgust because I find myself too choppy and pointless or way too obvious.

Here, I found a piece of poetry that I quite enjoy. It's music lyrics, the poetry I am exposed to the most. Somewhere only We Know by Keane (The first song in my playlist to the left) is full of dream, of wist, of nostalgia, all things I am very fond of:

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

I myself have little snippets of prose in a bunch of scattered post-its that I find are going somewhere yet which I can't bring myself to complete.

"But I'm lying here, half asleep

And the alarm is ringing so it's hard to keep

My eyes closed...

I'm barely sleeping.

My dreams are seeping

Out of my grasp.

It's a slow eye movement."

"And the golden birds fly over the mountain

Where the royal heart bleeds,

And the quest to the river of blood

Is held by tiny blind green men..."

"The soul in me; the ghost in me.

The ghost in you; the soul in you.

The concrete shoes, they're pulling us down.

It's a sorry potential."